So there I was at a park recently and saw two children about 8 or 9 years old. There was a boy and a girl eating ice cream cones. The girl dropped her cone and the boy decided to give his cone to her.
...NOT
...ON
...MY WATCH
I ran over there and smacked the cone out of her hand so now both were on the ground. I lectured them on how to share properly. I told the girl that she must agree to share her ice cream with anyone else who asks. I started explaining to the boy about the 4 freedoms. All of which are "the freedom to do what I say". The kids mother came over and asked what the hell I was doing. I smiled at her with my MIPS laptop still dangling around my neck and said, "Don't mind me ma'am. I'm just spreading freedom!".
I'd like to end the story there, since I was a hero for a moment, but guess who happened to be at the park? Linus Torvalds. That fat Finn told the mother and kids "don't mind him" and bought them new ice cream cones. I was so angry. I started telling that penguin fucker how he ruined my life and after a couple minutes into my rant, he smiles and says, "Sorry, I don't understand. Can you start over in Swedish?". I told him, "Go to HELL!" and he added "-sinki".
I swear that I'll get back at him. I'll rm -rf that smug expression right off his /dev/face.